


the real something has yet to be known

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
Genre: Banter, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, M/M, Protectiveness, References to Steve Rogers - Freeform, Sam Wilson is So Done, Snark, Therapy, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 13:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30073197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: Bucky and Sam's therapist asks them to reveal their biggest doubts and fears about their partnership.They are not the easiest patients to deal with.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 165





	the real something has yet to be known

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Whitman's "Of the Terrible Doubt of Appearances"

“If you’ve been so successful working together, which both of you admit,” said the therapist, “then why do you still think that it’s not working out?”

There was a pause as both Bucky and Sam looked at each other, each signaling with their eyebrows for a good minute that they thought the other should answer.

“Enough,” the therapist said, “Sam, you go first. What’s your biggest doubt about continuing this partnership?”

“You mean aside from how annoying he is?” Sam quipped. 

“Or how much a pain in the ass he is?” Bucky said. “I literally had the world’s best torturers working on me for decades, and I’m telling you, dealing with this guy is torture.” 

“That is not,” Sam said, shaking his head, “I mean, why would you even say-- that is just so messed up, do you see what I deal with?”

“Sam, please answer the question,” the therapist said, sighing. “What is your biggest doubt?”

Sam looked down for a while. Then, eventually, he said, “I guess… I mean, I’m stepping into some big shoes. And how’s that work? For a guy who’s just a guy - how’s someone like that supposed to be Captain America? Regular strength, regular speed, gets out of breath - I mean, can that guy be Captain America?” Sam looked over at the wall, avoiding either of their eyes. “And it’s like… sometimes, I think I can do it. Sometimes, I believe. But then I have to ask myself, if I’m being helped the whole time by another supersoldier - am I really Captain America? Or am I just faking it by having a guy with superpowers hanging out with me all the time? Sometime I feel like… the reason I keep finding excuses for Bucky to stick around… it’s like he’s my training wheels or something. Like… like I’m scared that I can’t be Captain America without him. And I just really hate feeling that way sometimes.”

He looked at the therapist quickly, then back down. His voice was trembling by the end, and his eyes were wide, vulnerable. 

“And Bucky,” the therapist said gently, “What do you have to say to that?”

Bucky paused. Then he said, “Yeah, he’s right, he definitely can’t be Captain America without me.” 

“You see?!?” Sam yelled, “You see what I deal with?!?”

“Bucky,” said the therapist.

“What?” Bucky said, shrugging. “It’s true. Steve didn’t become Captain America on his own either. Can’t be done.”

“What do you mean?” the therapist asked.

Bucky let out a breath and rolled his eyes, clearly upset that he was going to have to speak more than a few words. Finally, he said, “Becoming Captain America, going from ‘just a guy’ to the one who has to save everyone, protect everyone, always lead the charge… the guy who can’t ever have a bad day or a day where he acts like a jerk because then you’ve destroyed someone’s hero, the guy who can’t take anything a step too far because then everyone who looks up to him will do it too. Nobody can do that, man. You gotta be the perfect obedient soldier and the one who would never carry out an unethical order, the best warrior but who always tries to preserve life, the one who runs right into an unwinnable battle without hesitation but who never lets his people get hurt. It ain’t that easy, figuring out how to be that guy. And Steve had me, Peggy, and all the Howlin’ Commandos helping him figure it out, and it was still hard as hell. It was still...almost too much for him, some days. And now, I’m the only one left. Who remembers how damn heavy that shield is, when you first pick it up. And the thing is...” Bucky took a breath, then looked up, holding Sam’s gaze, “I’ve never once walked away when Captain America needed me. Not once. And I need that. And you need me, like it or not, at least for now. So, I think we might just be stuck with each other.”

Sam looked at him a long time. His eyes glistened a little, but he kept his composure and nodded. “Then I guess we’ll figure it out.”

“I guess we will.”

“...You’re still a dick, tho-”

“Back at you,” Bucky replied before Sam could finish the sentence.

“You two are just the worst,” the therapist muttered.

Both men looked at her in surprise at her lack of decorum.

“Sorry,” she said, “I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud.”


End file.
